


If you gave me a chance I would take it

by emidegrey



Category: DRAMAtical Murder - All Media Types
Genre: Accidental Confession, Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Bullying, Fluff, Homophobia, M/M, i'm really sorry how do you tag properly, maybe a little bit of angst, oh my i'm sorry i wasn't able to add that tag earlier i apologize, radio dj aoba
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-22
Updated: 2015-03-22
Packaged: 2018-03-13 19:10:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3392951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emidegrey/pseuds/emidegrey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I think I like someone.”</p><p>Aoba blinked a few times before a smile was on his lips. Well wasn't that great news?! But then why was Koujaku acting this way? The smile melted off his lips, replaced by a worried look. “Well that’s something nice. What’s wrong with it?”</p><p>“Everything is.”</p><p>--</p><p>Where Aoba is a DJ at their university and Koujaku comes to him to ask for help regarding his love life. Only it doesn't turn out the way he expected it to be.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. It's a shot in the dark but I'll make it

**Author's Note:**

> Hello guys! Ahhhh I don't know where to start actually. But then I guess I'd want to apologize for the lack of update with 'I'm Just Your Problem', School has been tough and it's really just very stressful.
> 
> About this particular fic, it came while I was in one of my classes and refused to leave me alone. It's actually done and I'll be uploading the other chapters soon. 
> 
> Thank you for [Tokittoki](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Tokittoki) for beta-reading, all of the other mistakes done after editing are mine.
> 
> Title is from 'Rather Be' by Clean Bandit.

“Alright, time check it’s now 2:52 PM. Let’s listen to a track titled “Ai Catch” by Goatbed.” Aoba removed the headphones covering his ears and pressed the button so he was “off air”. Swiveling in his chair to check on his childhood friend, he looked at the miserable expression he wore. It was very unlike Koujaku to be like this and he couldn’t actually think of any reason for him to be this upset. “Okay. So what’s up?” he asked, leaning his elbow on the table.

The older male gave a sigh before shaking his head and running a hand on the visible side of his face. Koujaku kept quiet and Aoba could only stare before he started to worry. “Seriously though. What’s wrong? You don’t usually just sigh and stare.”

Red orbs turned to look at him before the black haired male diverted them. Suddenly the floor looked very interesting. “I… I…” The other started. Aoba kept silent, letting Koujaku speak at his own pace. The senior gulped visibly before his eyes went back to the DJ. “I think I like someone.”

Aoba blinked a few times before a smile was on his lips. Well wasn't that great news?! But then why was Koujaku acting this way? The smile melted off his lips, replaced by a worried look. “Well that’s something nice. What’s wrong with it?”

“Everything is.” This was said with such hopelessness that Aoba couldn’t help but feel even more worried. Koujaku had never been this problematic with someone before. Sure he liked a lot of people in the past, yet never did he have this expression on his face or this tone in his voice. After all he was charismatic and confident, he took his relationships in stride.

“How’d you say it’s all wrong? It can’t be that bad.” He muttered, his head tilting to the side, trying to peer at Koujaku’s downcast eyes.

Aoba watched as Koujaku chewed on his lip, apparently confused on how to approach the subject until finally he graced him with those red orbs. Taking a deep breath before finally saying; “It is. We don’t get along, that’s the problem.”

Okay now _this_  was interesting. How could Koujaku adore someone he didn’t necessarily ‘like’? Through looks? But then Koujaku wasn’t really that type of man, not that much at least. Aoba knew Koujaku as someone who differentiates personality with physical appearance; To admire someone even though you don’t like them was … confusing? Contradicting? “How could you like someone you… don’t get along with…?”

Koujaku ruffled his hair and shook his head. “That’s exactly my problem!” He said frustrated. “I don’t like his personality but I realized that there are times that he’s actually tolerable. It’s not as if he’s an asshole twenty-four seven. We would fight, throw insults at each other, yet stay side-by-side just because we’re stubborn bastards and we didn’t want to move from where we are. Then I’ll catch myself staring at him for some time before he calls me out on it. This is just… I don’t know.” He pressed his face in the palms of his hands. “I just like him a lot.”

Aoba’s mind stopped by the time Koujaku said “him”. So this person was a guy? He never thought Koujaku would be interested in men but hey his sexuality could still change, besides his closest friends were both gay, maybe they rubbed off him? Koujaku had always been a ladies man; to hear him talk about this person with such emotion … well it was really, really interesting just as he thought earlier. He couldn’t help himself though.

“Him?” He had to make sure.

Koujaku’s red orbs were back on him instantly, wide with shock before he caught on to his mistake and his whole face turned crimson. He buried his face in his hands again and he nodded. “Yeah. Yeah he’s a guy.” The senior muttered.

The blue haired male merely smiled a little before shrugging. “That’s totally fine by me. Who’s the lucky guy though? Someone I know?”

At that Koujaku’s face paled for some time before color returned on his cheeks again, he nodded. Aoba couldn’t think of anyone else that Koujaku wasn’t getting along with other than… “Noiz?!” He asked surprised. The other man nodded aggressively looking at Aoba’s eyes in confirmation.

Aoba leaned back on his chair. He could only stare at Koujaku for a while, shocked at that piece of information. Not that he had anything against the younger male, but seeing how Koujaku and Noiz interacted with each other during the times when they all got together and when they saw each other in the hallway was indeed surprising. He never thought that there would be a time when Koujaku would be interested, in the senior’s own term, “a brat” like him. “Wow.” He muttered and just sat there having a staring contest with Koujaku. “Wow… I never. I mean… wow … just… I have no words for this.”

Koujaku frowned at that reaction but then he was expecting worse. He rubbed his face again and shook his head. “I told you, everything’s just wrong. I never thought I’d be interested in him that way. Sure I find him adorable at times but to actually like him. It’s just… it’s different. I really want him to like me too but it’s hard when we’re in a constant state of aggression. It feels as if, if one of us were to throw in a comment or an insult we’re going to burst. If he were to stop talking to me all of a sudden because of that incident, I’d rather continue with the bickering. Especially now. We’re currently in a bad state.”

The blue haired male nodded at this, a frown on his lips. Aoba had heard about the incident from Mizuki when they met at the halls on their way to their respective organizations.

 

* * *

 

"Still pining for that guy, musclehead?"

Koujaku felt a vein twitch in his head and he turned to look at the blond sophomore standing in front of his locker. Mizuki shifted beside him uncomfortably as well, ready to stop them if things got too far.  
The white haired male beside him was visibly troubled, a small frown on his face and a mumbled; “Noiz!” leaving his lips.

Noiz merely shrugged and settled his gaze on him. The senior wanted to say no, that wasn't the case, he wasn't pining for Aoba, it was _him_  he wanted to get. Koujaku stared as well, irritation at the back of his head, although not entirely directed at Noiz. The feeling was directed towards himself, because damn him, it had been months and yet he still hadn’t done anything right for the two of them. He wanted to get closer but every time he tried, it seemed that a fight between them would break out. People would say they were just not compatible or alike. Nevertheless he was able to see a side of Noiz that he actually _liked_.

Those moments were rare and most of them were when Noiz’s guard was down. How he would try to hide his blush over a small comment made by another person. The way he would laugh wholeheartedly with Clear. When the smirk on his face wasn’t exactly insulting but rather fond if Koujaku managed to retort something as imaginative as the blond’s twisted humor. All those gestures, Koujaku noticed, made his heart skip a beat.

After those events he realized that he wanted to be closer to the blond but everything he did tends to fail. His gaze stilled on the other, frustration prickling in his chest as he made a comeback; "So what does that concern you brat?"

Noiz's face remained impassive. "I'm just tired of seeing your ugly mug look so forlorn, add that you don't talk about anything else."

Now that was an exaggeration, Koujaku did _not_  talk about Aoba _constantly_. He was just discussing a project with Mizuki where his partner was Aoba, before they passed by Noiz and Clear in the locker room. A scowl was on his face as he crossed his arms in front of him. "Oh shut it. It's not like you'd understand how feelings work, seeing that you're insensitive to even your friends."

He didn't mean for it to sound like he was fighting with Noiz because heaven knows that's not what he wants, but it seemed that his mouth had a mind of its own. Koujaku could see Clear placing a hand on Noiz's back, as if trying to offer him comfort or support, or was just telling him to drop it now.

The blond wasn't backing out though. "Really now. Me? Insensitive?" He snorted. "May I remind you who gets into fights with those younger than him but puts up this prim and proper image? How hypocritical are _you_?"

Just for a moment, anger flared in Koujaku's chest and he couldn't stop himself from lashing out. He said he liked certain "sides" of Noiz but he didn’t like this one. "Really now? At least I don't fight _alone_. Just to remind you as well, who was the one that dragged you out of the fight with that rival group from another school because this _brat_ couldn't hold his tongue back? Oh, that's right, it was _me_. Thanks for the appreciation, asshole."

Noiz was quiet at that, no retorts were thrown back at the senior, thus giving Koujaku more time to continue with what he was saying, his tone turning crude. "Just so you know, if it weren't for you nobody would've been hu-"

"Enough!"

Clear's voice cut his rant midway and his attention was brought to the white haired male.

Clear now stood in between him and Noiz, a deep frown on his face and even his eyes were narrowed; anger and disappointment evident in them. Red orbs turned to look at the blond behind him and he felt his throat close off at the expression Noiz wore on his face; betrayal and hurt.

He opened his mouth to ask what the hell was wrong, yet Clear’s hand was already wrapped around the blond’s wrist. stopping him from doing so. The latter didn’t bother to resist the hold, letting Clear drag him away. Koujaku made a step to follow them but was stopped by Mizuki's hand on his shoulder. When he turned to look at his friend, the burgundy haired male merely shook his head and patted his shoulder "That's a little too much Koujaku."

It was only then that it sunk in; Koujaku messed up again. How did he expect to win the blond over if he continued to fuck things up between them?

Growling, he shrugged Mizuki's hand away and started to walk towards the opposite direction of where the two went. He needed to clear his head and think things through. What the fuck did he actually want from Noiz? He liked him but at the same time he hurt him like this. Why couldn’t they both just shut their mouths and be docile with each other for once? Frustrated, he continued to stomp away.

Little did he know that he would be regretting this incident soon enough.

Noiz started to avoid him ever since then. He made himself scarce and if they were to meet somewhere, the blond would make sure to keep away from him as much as possible.

 

* * *

 

And thus the reason why he was here now. Koujaku was hoping that Aoba would be able to help with this … problem of his. He really liked Noiz and he wanted to resolve this but he still didn’t know how. Besides the constant evasion the other wasn’t helping him at all, in fact he was more anxious now.

Aoba looked like he wasn’t sure what to do as well and Koujaku couldn’t believe he was actually asking advice from someone younger than him. But then Aoba was his childhood friend and he knew he could open up to him. “What do you think I should do?”

“Ah.. well…” The blue haired male looked deeply troubled, not sure what to tell the other. “You could always apologize and tell him the truth? I mean that incident with the other school was a low blow, but it’s not as if anyone got _that_  injured.” Aoba crossed his arms in front of him and tilted his head to the side and Koujaku actually felt guilty.

“So how do I go about that? I tell him ‘I’m sorry and actually I like you that’s why I tease-insult you a lot?’ That doesn’t sound good at all.” He frowned, disappointed. Aoba could only sigh.

“Of course you’ll have to make it sound good. Look, the first thing you have to do here is talk to him, apologize. You don’t actually think that you can skirt around that one? Unless… you know, let it go, give up or something.” The other’s golden eyes turned to look at the clock above Koujaku’s head assessing the time. “Hold on… I just have to…” The chair swiveling again, the other resuming to his DJ duties only to tense and sit still for a while before giving Koujaku a troubled expression.

Koujaku grew more anxious at the other’s look. With eyebrows furrowed in confusion, his stomach clenched in nervousness. “What is it? What’s wrong?”

Aoba's faced turned apologetic immediately. "I'm sorry." Red eyes turned to look at the equipment behind Aoba and then noticed that the "on air" sign was lit up. He was sure that Aoba didn’t press anything yet.

Somehow it clicked. And his face paled at the realization, his gut wrenching tighter now.

"We were on air the whole time."

Aoba just had to put the icing on the cake.

He was so fucked.

"Shit."


	2. Know with all of your heart, you can't shake me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, next chapter up. The last one might take a little longer since I'll be busy starting today till the start of next week. (´；д；)
> 
> But on another note, ahhhh thank you very much for all of your lovely comments and kudos and generally being really awesome!! \\(◕ v ◕✿)/ You guys really made my week very, very bright and happy. I could only thank you for giving this fic a try and liking it. 
> 
> I hope you would continue to read this fic till the end. 
> 
> Thank you for Toki for being an amazing beta. (◡‿◡✿) All mistakes are mine after editing.
> 
> EDIT: Ahhhhh, I want to thank HausenButter for pointing out the homophobic slur. I apologize to those who might have been offended while reading this, especially since I was unable to put a heads up both at the start of the chapter and the tags. I added the "Homophobia" to the tags as well. Once again I deeply apologize for overlooking this. (Q n Q )

Koujaku immediately left after the incident, letting Aoba do damage control if he could still do anything about it. As soon as the senior left the radio booth, the feeling of dread intensified and he had to take deep breaths to calm himself down. His eyes darted around, listening to Aoba's cheerful voice explaining how it was just a joke and that they were practicing for a project they had.  

The senior could only hope people would believe what the DJ was saying.   
  
He started to walk away, intent on leaving, yet he returned to the radio booth door again and stood there. He didn't have any class anymore, so the most logical thing to do was leave and go home. Maybe never go back to school again ‘cause fuck, how was he supposed to face all of these people?  
  
 _Fuck_.

His fans.

He forgot about them, mostly concerned about how the student body would react. Sure, he was the captain of the kendo club but he wasn’t _that_  popular. Nevertheless, he couldn’t brush the title off - thus the fans. Female fans. Fans who were willing to fight other people just to defend him, plus he dropped the name of the person he had taken interest in. Now he wasn’t sure if he was afraid for himself or Noiz.  
  
Oh god.  
  
He felt his gut clench again. His chest tightening and he felt like he was going to vomit. Holy shit, _Noiz_. What was he supposed to do now? Aoba said it was a joke, could it be possible that he made it worse for them? For _him_? Did he even have a _chance_  anymore?   
  
Feeling lightheaded, he steadied himself on the wall and listened to Aoba finally finishing up his ad-lib, music started to play soon after. Not wanting to talk to the junior - he had this feeling that the other would come after him if he stayed longer - Koujaku started to make his way to the parking lot; to the safety of his car.  
  
The walk wasn't easy.   
  
People who knew him looked at him with both adoration and interest. He could even hear some of them talking about how cute he was confessing over the radio; that they were to get together for sure. Oh how he wished that would be the case. Koujaku did his best to avoid people but there would be times where he would see these young women who would look at him differently - they were probably his fans - and could only thank whoever was above, that he wasn’t being subjected to any hostile reactions.

Koujaku was able to get in his car, relatively safe. Once the doors slammed shut, he sunk into the seat, hands holding tightly on the steering wheel and just pressing his forehead there. He couldn’t think of what he did to deserve this kind of mess, yet he was here now. There really was nothing else to be done but to suck it up and do _something_. Maybe this would be the best time to talk to Noiz, since he was pretty sure the blond would know about it. Either heard it himself or from some of his numerous sources.

A deep sigh left his lips, feeling boneless at the possibility of not being able to do anything about his feelings for Noiz. With a heavy heart he started the car and decided that if he was going to sulk - or think of a plan - he might as well do it at home, in the comfort of his room. After all, there was no use crying over spilt milk, but he could definitely clean up the mess he made.

 

* * *

 

The moment he opened his eyes there was already a feeling of not wanting to go to university. Somehow he didn’t want to face the harsh reality that he was going to have to live in. The sulking he did yesterday didn’t help at all and he was still at a loss of what to do with Noiz now.  

Forcing himself to get up, Koujaku started with his daily routine, although a bit sluggish and lethargic. Even the food he made tasted bland, his stomach tying itself in knots. He stopped eating halfway through his meal, leaving for school soon after. He’d just have to eat again later.

 

* * *

 

As soon as his car was parked, he felt eyes on him. He looked through his windshield yet there wasn't anyone there. Thinking he was just being paranoid, he grabbed his bag, and exited his vehicle, locking the door in the process.  

His feet felt like they were made of lead; the feeling in his gut intensified with each step. It was as if he was walking towards his execution. He dreaded the student body, the fans, _Noiz_. He just wanted to bolt out the door, return to his place, hide, and maybe find another university to attend.

Yet once he entered the campus people weren’t paying attention to him. They were all minding their lives, doing what they had to. He couldn’t see any of his fans as well. It seemed that the coast was clear for now. He gave a relieved sigh as he walked to the locker rooms to get some of his books.

The walk there was uneventful as well. No girls suddenly rushing towards him, no whispering about how he actually came out to the public that he was gay - well he wasn’t, he liked girls, he liked boys, actually no, he liked _Noiz_. Just Noiz. -  and there wasn’t any other reaction about yesterday’s incident. Maybe Aoba managed to do proper damage control, he’d have to thank him later if that was the case. And so, the knot in his stomach was untangling itself, he was able to walk more confidently, finally able to smile and breath properly. The tension in his shoulders leaving as well, his gait going back to that assured manner.

 

* * *

 

As soon as he closed his locker door, Mizuki was leaning on the one beside his, a huge grin on his face. “I heard something interesting.”

Koujaku raised an eyebrow at this, a curious smile on his face as well. Although he could feel the knot in his stomach coming back. “What’s up?”

Mizuki continued to grin, and Koujaku wasn’t sure how to read that anymore. “Apparently you confessed to the student body that you’re in love with this person.” the other started and the senior felt his shoulders tense again, not sure what to answer. Mizuki was his close friend, there was no lying to him. What Aoba did for him was just damage control, something that would keep him from losing face and embarrassing himself. “And apparently that person is Noiz.”

Koujaku tried to even his breathing, his hands clamming up. Mizuki wasn't disgusted was he? Usually he was the one with him when he was picking fights with Noiz. But then Mizuki was dating Sei, he’d understand right? Right?

Just before he opened his mouth to say something, the other was enveloping him in a tight embrace and then happily saying; “Fucking finally! The sexual tension was just too much!”

The red eyed man couldn’t help but stutter, trying to look at the other who was patting him on the back and was just genuinely happy. “Huh?”

Mizuki shook his head in disbelief. “I can’t believe you haven’t noticed the way you acted around him. You’re like… a bundle of nerves! It took you long enough to confess and through the school radio as well! It’s cute that you tried to have Aoba cover it up, but seriously though. No one would buy that!”

Koujaku honestly felt confused as he pulled away from the other. Sexual tension? Confession?? He thought all of this was planned?? A frown was on his face and he shook his head. “Wait, what? Is that how people saw it? That it was a confession?”

The burgundy haired male’s smile fell, his expression turning to confusion and doubt. “It _was_  a confession, wasn’t it? You can’t….” His eyes widened and he shook his head. “Oh god. Don’t tell me it was an accident.”

His chest felt tight as realization dawned on Mizuki and all Koujaku could do was nod in confirmation. Sure he did plan to tell Noiz about his feelings …. someday. But not like this. More private. Intimate. A time that didn’t involve other _people_  knowing about it. His face turned gloomy and he ran a hand through his hair.

“But you _do_  like him _him_  right? Because if you don’t that’s just… that’s just … That’s mean. Especially when you’re still not in good terms with him after the last time.” Mizuki’s expression was turning grim by the end of the sentence. Mizuki might not be close to the blond male but he had a sense of justice, what with being part of the student council.

There was that feeling of frustration in his gut. “I do. I like him a lot. It’s just that we panicked yesterday.” His eyes turned to the ground. “Hopefully things won’t turn worse.” There was doubt in his voice, especially with the looks he received yesterday - although he felt assured since all was fine when he came in earlier. He could only hope the same for Noiz.

Mizuki frowned still before nodding and patting his shoulder. “Come on, cheer up. Maybe this was your chance to tell him your _real_  feelings.” Koujaku scoffed at that, muttering a soft; “If he doesn’t hate me more than he already does.”

The other continued to pat his shoulder before he gave it a squeeze. “Let’s go.”

 

* * *

 

The next time he saw Noiz was at the locker rooms again. Koujaku would’ve tried to avoid him any other day but the way he looked so surprised at the pile of trash and papers flowing out of his locker made the dark haired male stop and stare. A cold feeling in his chest.

Noiz stood in front of his locker, Clear beside him with the same shocked expression. From the blond’s locker fell a couple of other papers and foil wrappers from snacks. The blond’s green eyes were on them before he turned to look at Koujaku and then back at the pile of trash in front of him. He crouched down to pick them up, Clear doing so as well to help him out.

Koujaku could read some of the notes on those papers and the cold feeling in his chest started to spread to his stomach. In angry red ink, words and phrases were written on the crumpled sheets. “Faggot, thief, you don’t deserve him, go away, die.” And a lot more that he couldn’t make out anymore from where he was standing. Looking up at the two, he could see that Clear’s eyes were glassy, like he was holding in his tears but at the same time there was disappointment and anger in them.  Noiz on the other hand was poker faced as he cleared the floor with the trash and stood to throw them away.

The long haired male stood there for a while before he moved to his locker and got his books, not having the guts to talk to Noiz especially with what he saw. He didn’t want to blame his fanbase for this but it was hard to cross out the possibility that it was their fault. A feeling of dread passed through him at the thought that Noiz could’ve been suffering harassment like these all day.  

He flinched when the locker at his side slammed shut and he turned his head to catch Clear sending a glare at him and Noiz’s retreating form. Koujaku just wanted to go back to his room and hide there forever.

 

* * *

 

This continued on for a few days. Koujaku thought that the initial shock or anger his fanbase felt towards the blond would dwindle down with time and that they would stop harassing the poor boy. Especially now that they were both equally avoiding each other as much as they could.

Apparently, the lack of confirmation regarding the status of their relationship made his fans more upset. Although they didn’t show any kind of hostility towards him, even going as far as acting normal around him, they continued to bother Noiz. Pulling pranks and bullying the blond - not too extreme; subtle things like throwing small stuff at him or filling his locker or bag with trash again - but bullying nonetheless.

The last straw was when they ganged up on Noiz while he was about to eat lunch. Now, Koujaku knew that Noiz wasn’t clumsy at all, he had good reflexes and could fight very well. Yet the way he lost his balance when someone tripped him proved that there was something wrong, _very_  wrong with him. It was enough to stir Koujaku’s anger up.

He stood up from his seat, just in time to grab the blond’s elbow and steady him. Although he wasn’t able to save the other’s lunch, food falling to the floor in a colorful mess.  For some reason, Clear wasn’t with him today, which was odd since the two were usually inseparable. There was a hopeful feeling in Koujaku’s chest that maybe this was his chance to talk to the blond. Figure things out. Set things straight.

Noiz tried to pull away but Koujaku held firm with his grip of the other’s elbow. He could see the scowl on Noiz’s lips as he faced him, looking as if he was doing something that he wasn’t supposed to. The blond opened his mouth, obvious that he was going to tell him off but Koujaku beat him to it. “We have to talk.”

The blond looked like he was going to protest but was unable to when the older male started to drag him away. Eyes boring holes on their retreating backs.


	3. When I am with you, there's no place I'd rather be

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHHHH FINALLY THE LAST CHAPTER
> 
> Alright, first, I'm really sorry for only updating this now. Yes, I said that I've finished writing the fic and that I'm only doing editing with my beta Toki. But then then I was never really satisfied with the first ending, and discussing it with her I decided to change the ending. Of course life had to get in the way and I got swallowed by college stuff and some family issues. The reason behind the very, very late update.
> 
> Second! I would like to thank everyone who had read this fic and was looking forward for this update. I'm hoping that you guys would enjoy this till the end, and that the ending I decided on would be better than what it was originally. O v O
> 
> So there we go. Once again thank you to my beta-reader Toki. All mistakes after the editing would be mine. O v O

As soon as they were out of the cafeteria and behind the building, Noiz pulled away from his hold. A frown was on his face, clearly displeased with what happened. Koujaku could finally see the dark circles under his eyes and how they looked a bit red. “Have you bee--”

“What the fuck was that for?” Noiz cut him off mid-question. He looked surprised for a moment before he gathered himself. Noiz might look exhausted but he could read anger in those lime colored orbs.

He leveled his gaze to the German, hoping to look as calm as possible to appease the other. “Look, I know that they’ve been tough on you and I--”

Noiz snickered at that, hoarse and humorless, mocking the older male. “Tough? You call that tough?” His eyes returned to the other, anger evident in them. “Just a little bit of bullying won’t break me, _Koujaku_. They’re actually more bothersome than threatening.”

Koujaku gnawed at his lip. What the hell was he supposed to say to him? He knew he would be talking to Noiz soon yet he wasn’t able to prepare anything. He was panicking, wanting to resort to sarcasm and bitterness as well but knowing full well that doing so would only hinder the _‘fixing’_ of their relationship. Whatever that relationship was. With a heavy heart, he looked pleadingly at the blond; “Noiz, listen to me for now, okay? I just want to talk. To fix this problem.”

“Gee thanks. Didn’t ask for this in the first place old man. Should’ve probably kept your mouth shut about liking someone, especially with half the student body in love with you. Oh that’s right, you were only kidding!” Noiz said sarcastically, although Koujaku could hear the underlying hurt and bitterness in those words.

“That was never planned.”

“I’m sure it wasn’t.”

“What happened over the radio was an accident okay? I didn’t mean for it to be broadcasted like that.”

“It? That’s an interesting way to put it. How could ‘it’ be an accident if ‘it’ was a rehearsal for your project though?”

“I didn’t know that they would react that way, alright? I was expecting them to be hostile to me, not you. I mean, look at this, I let them down I’m not--”

“Mr. Perfect anymore? Sure you’re not. You’ve never been one.” That felt like a whip lash to Koujaku and he suppressed a flinch. “But then who was the person that “tainted” you? People thought it was _me_. It’s always easier to blame other people for their own misery. You should know that.”

Noiz said this with a slight curl on his lips, definitely a smug look but there was still anger in his eyes as he stared at Koujaku, challenging him to answer.

The older male felt lost and frustrated, not sure how to proceed anymore. He could almost feel the animosity radiating from Noiz, as if he would punch him then storm out any time now. He had to choose his words carefully or he’d lose his chance. Taking in a deep breath he looked at the other in eyes, hoping that all of his feelings could be seen there. This was the only time he could tell the other the truth and shame on him if he let it pass.

“Listen, Noiz, I like you.” the blond opened his mouth to retort something but Koujaku grabbed his wrist, it was enough of a distraction to make Noiz shut up. “And what happened at the radio booth was a mistake. It was accident, yes, but everything that I’ve said on air - my feelings. They are real. I’m sorry that these people who look up to me started to harass you, it wasn’t my intention, it crossed my mind but I didn’t know that it would be _this_  bad. And I apologize for that.”

He must have been looking at the other so intensely that he made Noiz look away, the wrist in his hold limp. Or he just messed up big time. Maybe the other didn’t even feel anything towards him, despite Mizuki’s claim that there was some sort of sexual tension between the two of them.

Silence continued to swallow both of them before Noiz tugged at his wrist, hoping to be let go, but Koujaku’s instinct kicked in and he held firm. Noiz glared at him, a scowl on his lips. “You expect me to buy that?” Noiz violently pulled away, breaking the hold and taking a few steps back as he did so. “You really think that just because you’re spouting all of this bullshit I’m just going to think everything’s alright? Did Aoba turn you down or something? Cause I’m not filling in his role just so you wouldn’t feel lonely.”

And there it was. That idea of him being in love with Aoba stuck in the blond’s head. The frustration he felt was increasing and at the same time he was getting angry. Why did Noiz have to think that way in the first place? Goddamn it, he admitted his feelings right in front of him and still, _still_ , it didn’t get past the other’s thick skull.

“What do you want me to do to prove it?”

“What?” Noiz asked in confusion.

“What do you want me to do to prove my feelings?” Koujaku reiterated, words flowing through gritted teeth.

The blond seemed to be uncomfortable with those words and he wasn’t able to answer. Koujaku started to stomp towards Noiz, each step making the other step back until he had Noiz trapped between the wall and himself. His left hand slammed on the place beside Noiz’s head and he glared at him as he grabbed the other's wrist again.

“Tell me. What do you want me to do for you to believe me?” He was seething in anger and frustration “Want me to claim it to the whole student body? Do an announcement over the radio again? At the next student conference, would you want me to confess to you once again?”

Noiz looked even more confused and unsettled. “You can’t mean that. You have an image to uphold, shitty gee-”

Koujaku slammed his palm on the wall. “Do I look like I don’t mean it? I’ll get down on my knees if you want me to. But don’t you _ever_  think that I’m using you as a replacement for someone who had _never_ even caught my attention. It was you from day one. I don’t even understand why you thought I liked Aoba because I don’t.”

The blond’s eyes widened at that. His mouth opening and closing, he had this uneasy look on his face before he broke eye contact and gnawed his lip. Koujaku watched, fascinated that the other didn’t have some sort of retort to all of the things he said. But for once he was thankful. Maybe the other was finally understanding what he was saying.

He was able to see the other much closer now. The bags under his eyes were a little more darker than they used to, like he really didn’t get any sleep. His skin was paler than usual too, the reason why the freckles that dusted his cheekbones and across his nose were more noticeable. Noiz kept on worrying his lip, that was moist and red by then. He wanted to just lean down and kiss him, hold him in his arms and just reassure him that this was indeed what he felt towards the other.

Noiz gave a deep sigh and he looked defeated. The tension he had on his shoulders disappeared and he leaned heavily on the wall behind him. Lime orbs boring into his as he spoke, “Then… then all this time I’ve thought wrong? You don’t like Aoba?”

“Yes. Sure we’re close. He’s my childhood friend, what would you expect? But no, I don’t like him romantically.”

“And you like me.”

Koujaku nodded.

The German tried to smirk, but it didn’t work to give off the smug look he wanted instead it turned out pained. Koujaku didn’t know how to make of that smile. “You serious with that?”

“I wouldn’t joke about this.”

“But you were so defensive whenever I teased about him.”

“Just because I felt frustrated that you kept thinking that way.”

The blond started to gnaw at his lip again, eyes downcast as if he was thinking deeply. Those green pools appeared conflicted with so much emotion in them. “You’d really tell the whole school if I want you to?”

“I’d broadcast it again if you give me a chance to make things right.”

A pained expression passed through Noiz’s face and Koujaku knew he said the wrong thing. The silence continued to stretch between them as Noiz kept his eyes away, Koujaku staring down at him still. His heart was beating rapidly in his chest, ready to burst anytime. He was so close he could almost feel Noiz’s breathing, so close he could touch his lips to the other, prove that this was how he felt towards him. And yet he couldn’t do it. Couldn’t take it just like that because he already took away Noiz’s control over the situation.

He could feel his hands getting sweaty, suddenly being conscious of everything around them. There was that fear of people finally going after them especially with how long they were gone. Were they out long enough to warrant people looking for them in the first place? It felt like hours when it was only a few minutes. His mind started to drift off. Thinking of things that could be going wrong, of people seeing them, of _professors_. They weren’t really in a friendly position too, since he's caging Noiz in. He was so deep into his spacing out that he hardly caught the words leaving the blond's lips when he spoke.

"Sorry, what was that?"

Noiz's eyes still weren't looking at him but the blond lifted his hand up, the one he was still holding at the wrist. "I said, can you let go?"

With reluctance the older male released him but didn't move away, standing at the other's personal space still. Red orbs watched Noiz intently for his next move.  
  
“Noiz,” he whispered, flinching when those eyes turned to him. _Fucking finally_.

There was a look of confusion and distrust in those beautiful orbs. He wondered if he really ruined everything between them. If it was possible to move closer to the wall then that was what Noiz did. He shifted so he was resting his back to it while looking at the other still.

“It's just... I think..." Koujaku felt the knot in his stomach coming back. "It's hard to believe all of this at once."

The senior's breath was caught in his throat. He did fuck things up between them. Taking a step back he wanted to looked away, but kept his gaze focused still. The mere thought that he lost his chance with Noiz made his heart hurt.

Noiz almost looked guilty at the way he reacted. He didn’t want the other to feel… _compelled_  to feel something back at him. He didn’t want to believe what Mizuki said before, yet he hoped that the other did like him. The same hope that built in him when the sophomore confirmed his feelings towards Aoba.

“Ah, should I… I should go, huh?” Koujaku muttered, suddenly losing all of his confidence. Maybe giving this some time was the best option for the both of them. He took a step back, ready to tuck his tail in between his legs and leave. If possible never to go back to face his person of interest anymore.

Now, he wasn’t expecting Noiz to be the one to grab his wrist though. His eyes widened and he stared at the pale hand wrapped around his, holding tightly. “No, wait, don’t go.”

There was such panic and desperation in Noiz’s voice that Koujaku couldn’t help but stand still and stare at him. Now this was beginning to feel awkward. The urge to kiss Noiz returned ten fold when the other started to gnaw at his lip again, eyes fixed on him. “Give me time.”

Koujaku was silent for a while before the tenseness of his shoulders started to disappear, leaving him slightly slouched. If this would give him a shot with Noiz then why not? “Alright. How long though?”

“Are you willing to wait?”

“As long as you give me an answer in the end. I’ll wait.”

Because it’s true. He’d wait for the other’s answer, even if it would take y _ears._  He was that devoted to the blond. The only thing he probably regretted was not telling Noiz earlier and that they had to resort to _this_  as a way of talking about their feelings.

There was this awed look in Noiz’s eyes that screamed _‘I can’t believe this.’_ Koujaku couldn’t believe this either, but he had to because this was happening right now and if he was in charge he’d be kissing Noiz this instant.

Which the blond did.

It was a simple peck on the lips and Koujaku could barely feel Noiz’s slightly chapped ones on his before it was gone and he was left staring at the other in surprise.

“Wait for me. I’ll give you an answer soon.” Noiz whispered, green orbs burning something akin to desire, cheeks gaining a tint of red, before he was gone. Running off and leaving the other behind.

Koujaku stood stock-still for a moment, still disbelieving about the kiss - was that even a kiss? - that happened. He then turned to follow Noiz with his eyes until he was gone.

A smile started to grow on Koujaku’s lips as he felt his face heat up a bit. He was ready to wait if it meant he’d be able to keep this side of Noiz as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There we go. I hope you enjoyed that guys! Thank you once again. O v O!!
> 
> Please drop by my [tumblr](http://seingemini.tumblr.com) so we could chat!


End file.
